The Music

I listened to tango music and felt sad that I could not express it with my body, that it would just sound and vibrate in me without embodiment. It went into my chest, legs, tickled in the solar plexus, and I wanted to do something with this feeling. So, I found the closest tango school.

The Pleasure

It’s hard to believe now but I remember that I enjoyed tango from the very first steps. I remember the times of practice for two or three hours, which flew by in a flash, and the bloody calluses that I only noticed because of the red drops on the shoe when I changed after class. Pleasure turned out to be a completely separate variable, not related to technical skills. Contact, steps, music – that was enough. Tango has become a place of continuous guaranteed joy.

The Body 

I have been dancing since childhood. In the ballroom school we were lined up at the barre to practice stretching, movement accuracy and to learn different figures and moves. In folk dances we trained synchronism and dynamics. In social Latin dances – you learn to feel the lead (but mostly with your hands), remember various movement combinations and to quickly react to the partner. My body got accustomed to being in harmony with the music, the technique and the lead. But it was only in tango I started to get a feeling that a dance can also be a dialogue, that pulling and pushing is violence, that you can dance with whomever and however you find pleasant, and that joyfull physical expression does not have to look impressive from the outside. In tango, my comfort has become more important, the confidence in the way I stand on my feet and move. Being comfortable became the good and right way to be. 

The Men

Before tango, I didn’t know that respect to women could be expressed with a fresh and dry shirt, with an invitation not by hand but with a look from a distance, with a special care to my axis, with the tradition of approaching a woman before the dance and taking her back to the seat after, with not asking any personal questions, except for the name and city. These “little things” create security, respect for myself and for the men.

And also – a man’s posture. How beautiful it can be, regardless of height, build, shape and other external features! 

The Women

The discovery was the beauty of dancing female feet in tango shoes. Flickering in cuts of skirts, they are fascinating. The feet of a good follower are a special work of art. Even my own feet now inspire my inner look (the external one is much more critical).

Social fears

Tango actualizes fears which were hidden. Fear of being rejected, inept, looking bad,  left alone. They condense at the first milongas, and they persist. I learned to treat them with respect. I do not set high standards and do not agree on what can upset me. I just drink wine at the table when some fears get too close.

Contact

Contact with the partner, music, my body, parquet, dancing couples is an amazing rainbow of sensations. I don’t know where else they are so subtle, though intense and vivid.

c)
Igor Zabuta, izabuta.com; 
Emma Kologrivova, kologrivova.com;
dancing psychotherapists

P.S. The original text is in Russian. Please contact us if you can improve this translation.

More tango essays in Russian: tango-therapy.com.ua/wp/