Buenos Aires, the beginning of the last century. Ten men per woman. Line at the brothels for hours, prostitutes toil for wear and tear. Men far from home, from wives, girls, from mothers and sisters. They came hoping to earn the fortune and bringing their families, but now they are poor, disappointed to despair, the future is darker and colder than the present.

What do they want? A woman. Just a woman. To embrace.

They say tango originated in brothels. More cautious researchers say yes, only men did not dance with prostitutes. Men danced with each other waiting for their turn. Others say this is also romanticized fabrication.But for sure men learned to dance tango with the other men. There were no schools, but “practices”. Novices learned to dance as a follower: «you cannot lead to a step that you, as a follower, do not know how to perform.» When their level as a follower was recognized worthy, they began to dance as a leader. With new novice men.

(They also say that women didn’t learn to dance tango. Partners were so good they could lead any woman, even the one first time on the parquet. Others say that women discretely studied at home. But no one ever knows the truth about women.)

A few years later, when partners became as tough as Israeli special forces, they could go to milonga. There was a chance to embrace a real woman, made totally of a woman. And if this happened … After several years of dancing with men, many years of tactile and emotional hunger, it was an amazing experience. Men embraced not only the woman in front of them. In this embrace, there was a longing for the beloved one at home, possibly lost forever, and for mothers, sisters, or daughters. For the warmth and love of the woman.

Maybe that’s why tangeros know how to embrace. Not only by their arms. They embrace your the spinal cord with their whole being. Someone does it softly, but so deeply that you can clearly feel the shape of your own and someone else’s heart and stomach. Someone — gently, reverently, like a breeze. At the same time, sparks in the limbic brain set fire to the frenzied butterflies’ wings in your stomach. You also feel the meaning of the words “carefully” and “respect” and the difference between lust and passion.

More often this is not even passion, but infinite piercing tenderness. For what was or could be, for what will never be. The dream to warm and be warmed. In tango it can come true for 12 minutes. You can take a little of this warmth away with you, kept it in your life.

c)
Igor Zabuta, izabuta.com; 
Emma Kologrivova, kologrivova.com;
dancing psychotherapists

P.S. The original text is in Russian. Please contact us if you can improve this translation.

More texts in Russian: tango-therapy.com.ua/wp/